All a baby really needs is their parents.
To teach them, to feed them, to watch them grow.
But what happens when one becomes independent?
"You're not a baby anymore, you can do that on your own."
It went from walkers, to walking alone.
Picking me up, to putting me down.
Daddys little girl? Eh not so much.
18 years later:
Living in the same house,
surrounded by different people.
But some things never change.
I will forever remain the same.
Because you sculpted me.
LOVE your poem. I could relate to it ( -_- ) , and im sure everyone at your age can to as well. I don't realy have anything bad to say about it so... :)
ReplyDeleteI like it. I think that eveyrone could relate to this because it is true, when you grow up you are forced to become independent because no one is going to want to baby you anymore .
ReplyDeleteNice
ReplyDeletei can relate to this poem , i like it alot. "your not a baby anymore, you can do it on your own" thats the truth
ReplyDeleteI like the poem but there isn't enough imagery. it could be so much better meghan. I like how you wrote the poem in your own voice. But all in all the second stanza was really the only one with some strong of imagery in it not including the last line of the poem.
ReplyDeleteYay! I'm proud of you. I think there is so much more meaning here than what you usually give with you Jermy Lin poem :)
ReplyDeleteI could really hear your voice in this. I only question who is the "you" at the end of the poem. I don't think I get it from the rest of your poem that you are speaking to someone other than the reader. You should clarify it. Other than that bravo!
"It went from walkers, to walking alone.
ReplyDeletePicking me up, to putting me down."
I LOVED that line because its soooo true! i really loved your poem because i think everyone can relate! I think the "Daddy's little girl? Eh not so much" line could have been a bigger part in your poem cause it was one line then switched right into a different topic sorta.
"But some things never change.
I will forever remain the same.
Because you sculpted me. "
i like this part too. i dont know why it was weird as i thought about it. but yet i loved it cause i can relate and its really interesting to think that last 3 lines.
I like the last stanza a lot. It makes a lot of sense. The last line is my favorite. I think that everyone can say that their parents sculpted them in some kind of way, wether it is good or bad. Which I like because it makes a lot of sense. But I think that you could use a litte more imagary but I really really liked it. I think it was really good.
ReplyDeleteI loved this! I like it so much because of how true it is. You wrote this poem very well, and just cause it doesnt rhyme, shows that it really is more serious in my opinion. I like how you showed from picking you up to putting you down because that is where the transition comes in. Overall great poem, and honestly I wouldn't change a thing.
ReplyDeleteFav Line: "18 years later:
Living in the same house,
surrounded by different people"