"Turquoise waters, waves on swim... Hot, steamy sand, tanning with Jeremy Lin."
You should be a rapper. Lil Meg on the 1's and 2's. Well you should expand on your carefree way of living, it was a funny poem, but i feel that you should've went a little harder on this one.
Ahaha we all want to get away from our mothers and tan with Jeremy Lin but unfortunately it can't be that way. You had clear images, but they didn't tie together at all. The meaning wasn't DEEP ENOUGH FOR ME
Favorite line (well title): The Life. I love SUMMERRRR!!!!!! <3 so i can definatly relate to this poem! When summer comes thats when The PERFECTTT life starts! I feel like you could add more about what would make the pedrfect life during summer though. More imagery, make the person want to leave the computer and go to florida for dayysssss just to be in summer heat! Instead of perfect life.. talk about you ideal perfect summer day?! but either way you can talk about alot if you do either. Summer=Perfect lifeee <3
Alright Meghan, maybe you want to consider something that you think about often to discuss. The poem is very simple and I think you can come up with something more meaningful. I would like to come away with something from the peom instead of thinking how I really want a vacation with Jeremy Lin (which that would be awesome). But after that, there is nothing else for me to consider. More imagery, more conflict, more thought. You can do it girl!
Favortie Line: "Turquoise waters, waves on swim... Hot, steamy sand, tanning with Jeremy Lin."
TEAM HEAT ! lmao. I actually thought your poem was good.I get the summer feeling, which i like. It's not sad and depressing, like most poems. Its postive. :)
A teenagers dream lololololololol. I like the poem. I think you could have done alot more though. I really don't see why you added JL in it. Maybe youn should get away from the rhyme scheme and your poetry will be better.
I actually liked this poem. I found it really funny. I like how she mentioned getting away from "Madre" and the Jeremy Lin tan lol. This isn't racist at all (no sarcasm) but it was good. I don't see why you were so nervous of sharing it, me gusta.
favorite line
ReplyDelete"Turquoise waters,
waves on swim...
Hot, steamy sand,
tanning with Jeremy Lin."
lmfaoooo this poem was funny , but i didnt get the meaning behind it but it was funny .
"Turquoise waters,
ReplyDeletewaves on swim...
Hot, steamy sand,
tanning with Jeremy Lin."
You should be a rapper. Lil Meg on the 1's and 2's. Well you should expand on your carefree way of living, it was a funny poem, but i feel that you should've went a little harder on this one.
"Time to get away from Madre."
ReplyDeleteAhaha we all want to get away from our mothers and tan with Jeremy Lin but unfortunately it can't be that way. You had clear images, but they didn't tie together at all. The meaning wasn't DEEP ENOUGH FOR ME
Favorite line (well title): The Life.
ReplyDeleteI love SUMMERRRR!!!!!! <3 so i can definatly relate to this poem! When summer comes thats when The PERFECTTT life starts! I feel like you could add more about what would make the pedrfect life during summer though. More imagery, make the person want to leave the computer and go to florida for dayysssss just to be in summer heat! Instead of perfect life.. talk about you ideal perfect summer day?! but either way you can talk about alot if you do either. Summer=Perfect lifeee <3
Alright Meghan,
ReplyDeletemaybe you want to consider something that you think about often to discuss. The poem is very simple and I think you can come up with something more meaningful. I would like to come away with something from the peom instead of thinking how I really want a vacation with Jeremy Lin (which that would be awesome). But after that, there is nothing else for me to consider. More imagery, more conflict, more thought. You can do it girl!
Favortie Line: "Turquoise waters,
ReplyDeletewaves on swim...
Hot, steamy sand,
tanning with Jeremy Lin."
TEAM HEAT ! lmao.
I actually thought your poem was good.I get the summer feeling, which i like. It's not sad and depressing, like most poems. Its postive. :)
lololololololol Lin lololololololololol
ReplyDelete"Summer is here,
time to get away from Madre."
A teenagers dream lololololololol. I like the poem. I think you could have done alot more though. I really don't see why you added JL in it. Maybe youn should get away from the rhyme scheme and your poetry will be better.
LOLOLOL Linsanity xD
"tanning with Jeremy Lin."
ReplyDeleteI actually liked this poem. I found it really funny. I like how she mentioned getting away from "Madre" and the Jeremy Lin tan lol. This isn't racist at all (no sarcasm) but it was good. I don't see why you were so nervous of sharing it, me gusta.